I am sharing these thoughts today because I've kept them to myself. I wrote this weeks after Tamir Rices's death. I just didn't feel as if it was timely and people no longer had his case on their minds. However, today it is all to relevant again. We are adding two more names to the list of those fallen in police custody. #AltonSterling #PhilandoCastile
Upon hearing about Mike Brown and watching the news coverage I wrote a poetic piece from a mother’s perspective. In this piece I identify with her tears and heartbreak. This was not because I have lost a child and not even because I have a son, but because I am a mother. I am a mother raising a black child, A mother who is concerned about every child she comes in contact with. A mother who has not only taken responsibility for my child, but my nieces, nephews, cousins, and the children I teach. I am a mother who has raised a child in a multicultural environment and support my daughter in developing her relationship with other children of all races, but I have also had to warn her that there are still consequences of being black despite who you friends are and how you view the world. As she is now a teenager this admonitions are even more strong and imperative seeing she is preparing to leave the comfort of her protective nest. I have firmly impressed upon her that mediocrity is not possible and that her innocent mistakes can cost her more than she imagines. I have point out even more poignantly, referencing Mike Brown, Travon Martin, Melissa Williams, Timothy Russell and Tamir Rice, that we face injustices that are unconscionable. It has been come crystal clear that the trials of adolescence, the naivety, the risk, challenging social norms, and the irreverence for authority is not a process that a black child has the luxury of navigating . Yes, I sympathize and empathize with the mother of Mike Brown, I extended these same feelings to the mother of Tamir Rice.
In the case of Tamir Rice my sobs are deeper. Not one more victim, not one more excuse. Not one more case that the black community, the Cleveland Community has to hold their breath and pray that justice is served. Pray that someone would take a stand for the innocence of our black youth. Pray that the system that we are governed by will finally protect us. I watched this video over and over several, I showed it to my daughter two additional time. I asked her the question, what happened? “Her initial response was nothing, I don’t see anything.” Right! Nothing. No gun, no fight, nothing. How can anyone justify this? How do you call this a mistake? This baby, had no chance, no time to react, no time to process what was happening? Nothing. Do you understand the problem? Do you see why it was important for you to miss practice and for us to stand at Cudell Rec center with other members of the community? Do you know that could have been you or one of you friends? You have played on that very playground. What if it was one of the boys, (referencing my four nephews who live in this neighborhood) what about your new baby brother? He was twelve, playing with a toy. After some thought I remembered my brother. He was twelve and had a BB gun. He was twelve and he shot people with that toy gun, namely my daughter’s father with that BB gun. What if someone called the police on him (my brother), would he still have been able to live to adulthood? Because he had the gun and used it, did that make him delinquent? Were my parents irresponsible and abusive? By using a pellet gun, was my brother destined to be a criminal? No. Just like Tamir he was a boy. Just like Tamir he thought it was cool to have them. Just like Tamir he looked for a way to show that toy off. A boy that lives in a culture fascinated with movies, videos games and news stories, of cowboys, war and the criminal underworld. I for one have always been fascinated by the prohibition era mobsters and the glamorization of WWII. We live in a society that gives us the right to bear arms and does not restrict ownership or the use of them based upon age.
Even more painful is the fact that we, members of the black community, have bought it. How do we expect mothers and father to defend and protect their children when we feel like no one has our back? When even our family, community the people who look like us, those we are most comfortable with tell us that there is no valid defense. We are told, this is our plight and we must live with it. There are people in control and in power and these people we must obey. Do what you are told if not we deserve what we get. This sounds like the rationale for massa’s beatings. Sounds like the rationale for the rapist torment. Sounds like the rational for the savage’s salvation. It’s because you made me… It should teach you a lesson… You asked for it…
Now with the onslaught of Facebook comments and Twitter hashtags these comments come more rapidly, with more vengeance and even more biting. Its an overwhelming thought as a parent and as an advocate. How do we stand strong when the world is against us? “The boy went for his waist.” “The Police have a Job to do.” “Police officers want to go home like anyone else who goes to work.” I ask myself are we thinking critically. What other information have we used to come to these conclusions. Do we ask ourselves, what if it was my child? Do we remember our childhood or did we dismiss from our minds the nonsensical play and exploration that transformed us into the adults that we are? Do we not realize that our history is not taught to us, so that when we see similar lynching, beating, and imprisonment that we would not recognize it for what it’s worth?
With those questions I have no answers. I too feel defeated. Soon the hum of daily survival takes over and we go back to fighting our individual battles in our homes. We stop living only to simply survive.
